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Mar. 18th, 2009

holy crap.

what up, old LJ?

Why was I so dumb in high school?
so part of my entry yesterday was wrong.

i got it today. and my entire reply is: whatever.



first of all, you may be wondering why i haven't been on here or on msn or myspace in over a month.

the answer is quite simple. eliminating a stressor from my life.

why try anymore?

okay. i'll be real here. it's not going to be the same, and i don't want to go back to how things were no matter how much i miss it. it was all a mistake. and this is the internet, so i'll get over it. and apologizing doesn't help. there are people i don't want in my life anymore and they'll just have to face that fact. i'm sorry, but it's true. and i needed to get that out so you know where you stand. apologizing doesn't help. putting me first on your myspace top 8 doesn't help, and adding me to your LJ interests doesn't help. there is no helping it, and i'm not coming back. i doubt you'd want me to now anyway.

and for god's sake stop acting like you CARE. You don't. Stop creating an illusion. if you cared, you'd send me an email, a message on Myspace, a dmail, a letter in in the real mail, anything. it's not that difficult. so shut up and stop bs-ing your way through life. it's like, "ooh i miss her so much! it's been forever since we've talked!" BULLCRAP.

if i added you to my new accounts, feel special. if i didn't, you might know why.

i have enough to worry about in my life (school, you know... ) than to worry about any of this.

i went through an "I hate people" phase, though you'd probably never be able to see by looking at me or hearing me talk, really. i went through an "i can't stop thinking about this" phase, and still am. but it will stop.

i don't believe in people anymore, though. thanks a lot.


remember: why try to go back, when all you can do is go forward?

remember: you have no idea what deep is.




So that's why.

It's good to know that I wasn't alone. The thing was, it was a crescent last night, so when the thought occured to me I didn't care.


heh :)

I've got 6 of my college applications out. At least, I think so. I'm going to ask about that when I give Mrs. Pogoda the supplement for Nazareth and the Nazareth money. It's pretty awesome, though. After this, I'm going to take some time to myself (of course I have school work, but I don't have to deal with THIS) and I'm going to learn Dutch!

Then I'll have one up on worshipmefools because he doesn't even KNOW Dutch and he lives in The Netherlands. Hah hah hah. *cough*

Anyway, yeah, wow. Life and everything. It's crazy. I'm going to MCLA's open house tomorrow. Fun, fun fun. I can get my homework done in the car, including all the coloring for Thanksgiving break. And I could probably study for the test next week, right? YEAH I'D SAY SO.

Sigh. Stuff is so weird right now, and I don't know what to think. At all. I'm going to try to stop... heh. I'll just think about school and Dutch and yeah. Like that's ever gonna happen.

My college essay!

It's awesome. It's about how Eleanor Roosvelt taught my grandmother how to sew and that I picked up on the tradition. It's a legacy! Buahah.

The common application says 250-500 words, so guess how many words my essay is exactly?


I can use this for ALL of my applications. Besides, I'm only applying to one that's not *of* the Common Application. MCLA. All the others: Susquehanna, HWS, Hartwick, and Cazenovia all are *of* the Common App. Yay!

Yesterday was funny. I decided to write my compare and contrast essay for English about my sister Phil and I. And I told Michelle that we have the same taste in music. She was like, "You do? Because I see her as a Britney Spears type..." and I told her I like some Britney Spears songs and she was like :o


My English essay is long and tedious, though, and there's barely any "vivid word choice", which I need. Oh well! All I need is the rough draft by Tuesday.

The Sociology class *gets* to go to Hudson HS on Monday. Woo hoo and stuff.

You fit in with:

Your ideals mostly resemble those of an Atheist. You have very little faith and you are very focused on intellectual endeavors. You value objective proof over intuition or subjective thoughts. You enjoy talking about ideas and tend to have a lot of in depth conversations with people.

60% scientific.
80% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

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You will take over East Timor using only a lot of locusts

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

School Smart

You're more of a 'school smarts' kind of person. You are best with the theoretical things, and your intelligence is both natural and learned - a blend of personal, experiential knowledge and book learnin'.

40% theoretical intelligence
0% learned intelligence

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com


I went to jail.

Yeah, the two government classes took a trip to the Dutchess County Jail after first period this morning. It was pretty radical, too. First of all, we all had one bus so all the seats were full and we doubled up. I sat with Gina. When we were going to get on the bus we were holding hands so we wouldn't get separated because we knew we were going to sit together. Michelle gave us a look but claimed it was a "what the hell" look, not a freaked out look. Anyway, it was just so we wouldn't get separated. The only girl I would hold the hand of and not because of a separation deal is Vicki :) Of course. Obviously. Hurrah.

The jail was interesting. Starting income is 40,000 something. That's pretty good. If I wanted to get into law enforcement and criminal stuff I'd try to work there. haha.

There were some hot peeps in jail. Also some crazy looking peeps and some old peeps that kind of disgusted me. I'd never say that while I was there though, I swear.

Police dogs sniffed out drugs and we all watched. That was fun, but I got a headache from the old gym we were all in. The acoustics and the lighting (as Gina said) were just really bad and that gave Tara, Gina, and me splitting headaches. On top of that, yeah. I wasn't feeling too healthy to begin with.

I was supposed to go to the library but I came home, took medicine, made Phil call the library, and then took a nap. That was fun. When I woke up, Gilmore Girls was on. Bleh!

I can't wait for the new South of Nowhere because that girl who plays Spencer is hot and so is her brother and so is her other brother and so is that girl who got knocked up but then lost the kid but that was way before Spencer and them moved there!



Very Easy
Your life has been 21% difficult.

Based on your family, money, political context, and personal situation -- during the important years of your development -- it appears your life was VERY EASY. What does this mean?

Well, the "difficulty" of your life is a measure of how rough you had it. Relative to the world, you had a pretty good childhood. I'm not saying it was really easy, just that you weren't gnawing on a belt for calories. Still though, it wasn't perfect.

I'm not sure what "success" means to you, but whatever it is, you can achieve it. When you do, it'll be that much more impressive.

I have a new test! Straight males and gay/bi females, check out my brand new How Low Are Your Sex Standards Test

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 28% on difficult
Link: The How Difficult Is Your Life Test written by chicken_pot_pie on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test